Michele Dickson

Second image is titled Stepping Out Tonight

Who says that I/we can’t have healthy, abundant, fulfilling life/lives?

I want to lead by example. Doing that is very important to me.

It’s meaningful in following my dreams, and making a healthy, abundant, fulfilling life for myself. I utilize the qualities of patience, wisdom, and grace in all that I think and do.

I also want to do that with the greatest humility.

I don’t follow rules. To me, rules are made to be broken.

My visual art, writing, sculpture and photography, all follow that premise.

I believe in uniqueness and in having multifaceted abilities, while rallying against oppression in society, and sometimes the byproduct of that causes friction, and in some  cases, intolerance.

We all know how we, as disabled folks, are wrongly treated by our many leaders. But can we demand better? Yes, I believe we can and are–in stages.

I feel that many people take what they now have, as something that’s constant. But we know that things aren’t always that way.

Our bodies need rest, value in our own worth, compassionate caring, sustenance, a living wage, and freedom from oppression. And the medical and societal beliefs that we must grapple with are as a result of people putting their own thirst for power first, and not in the community in which we all live.

We all must give ourselves care. I’m not speaking of that. But I struggled with internalized ableism all my life. I felt that if I could only work more, then my life would be better. But it wasn’t. All I did was create fear, hypervigilance and exhaustion.

I believed that if only I wasn’t disabled, then others would like me more. But that made me unaccepting of my body and its human nuances.

I felt that everything in my life, like my failed relationships, my arts practice, and how I lived with myself in this body, were as a result of my flawed thinking. Well…it kind of was.

I had to learn how to care for myself. Before that, I’d work at writing proposals, incessantly checking my email, exercising non stop, and never cultivating the mindset of ease and comfort in my life, gradually moving into new things, and feeding my Soul every day with beauty, hope and grace,

I also realized that when someone becomes angry, it’s more about them, and less about me. When I learned to not take someone’s anger so personally, I began changing.

I later learned to adopt a healthy love of life and start doing things for myself that I could do, and stop worrying about the things that I couldn’t.

I finally read all my art books that I’ve collected over the years. I spent time on Instagram looking at funny AI reels. I ate some pretzels, and I got myself a small sketchbook and spent time drawing in it every day.

Or I did absolutely nothing!

And you know what? It made me see how ingrained ableism really was in my own life and in my psyche.

I began feeling better about my talents, my flaws, and my ability for resiliency.

For the first time, I felt like I belonged.

When I truly felt valuable, I found places, and peace, that gave me a sense of openness that I’d not felt before.

I’m big on Law of Attraction. When I became more aware of my joy and how to keep it, people’s feelings about me were of little care to me. I focused on doing “Soul ”work” and aligning myself to my Source Energy. More joy followed, and my old patterns wore away, or at least I became more aware of when I was spiraling downward and soon corrected it. Better things started coming into my life. In time, I was able to feel joy doing the simplest of things.

I felt so much better, and in turn, I brought out more joy in others as well.

But then, I lost my way yet again.

My circumstances began to erode and I found myself spiraling into a web of despair and hopelessness. My depression and anxiety came back. I started eating a lot and art didn’t mean that much to me anymore. I had lost my way, and I didn’t know how I was ever going to get back.

I spent a lot of time with my Inner Knowing, asking it for guidance. What I heard was: “You must take a different tack.” So I did.

I stopped and stepped back. I surveyed the damage. I gave up the “shoulds” for the “wants,” and was much happier.

I spent more time making and enjoying art. I bought more art books about specific artists that I loved, and looked at them. I ended my obsession with Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and all social media. I had been chasing it for too long. I ended my chronic illness, and my pain, by doing things for myself. And I’ll never go back to living the life I used to have.

But after a time, I felt like I wanted to give birth to a dream of mine. So I decided to make my own special space for disabled folks.

I started The Bedbound Artists Society for disabled bedbound and Homebound artists. I wanted to create a force for belonging and inclusion within the art world.

So much of my existence was focused on me navigating my life in a meaningful, hopeful way, so I became a Medium after I was called to a life of service to those experiencing grief and needing some emotional support. Now I can say that I’m on my way to thriving.

I also now know that no one can make me happy. That only I can do that. And it isn’t my job to be responsible for anyone. I am just responsible for my own life, in as much of a way that I possibly can. That also meant giving up my dream to walk again. Yes, it was hard. I wanted to be liked. But I find that I’m a much better person because of learning to love myself. And really, if you don’t love you, then who can you love?

Attitude is everything. You can change your perception. It just takes perseverance, compassion, and wisdom, along with an understanding that it does take time.

I now operate through love, and in love,and I believe that we all must be treated with kindness, compassion, gentleness and love–all people on this planet and wherever one is on their journey through life. Anything less than that is abhorrent and unnecessary.

We are all wondrous human beings, capable of greatness, and along with that are feats that some of us never dreamed possible. It’s up to us to pave the way for the younger generations to come, and to cushion the blow for those in society who need it.

We can all make a difference, and it’s not unattainable. Just make small steps, and it gets easier as you go.

We can all thrive. It just depends on your perspective.

And leadership that promotes these qualities will guide our Earth towards a better future, with greater possibilities and in finding our quantum potential. We must step up and defeat the oppression we face with gentleness and understanding. Only then will we bring about a just society full of humanity’s innate power to transcend boundaries and give each person a purpose to live a good life.

Isn’t it so worth it!

It’s called “Vanishing  Point.” The blue and orange background symbolizes strife and rest. The two beings — one on the left, which you can barely see in orange outline, and the one on the right, which you can see clearly — represent two sides of myself. One side shows what the world sees, and the other side represents the private person, the quieter moments.

They’re grabbing and pulling apart a woman’s vagina, and from that, something is emerging. It’s about showing the ties between them both — as a woman, as a femme. The collage elements are there to signify difficulty and the complexities of life.

I’ve used complementary colors — orange and green, warm and cool. There’s blue and orange on the right side, and on the left, orange, blue, yellow, and a bit of purple. The figure on the left is in orange pastel so it blends into the background, while the one on the right is done in dark purple pastel to bring it forward.

This piece shows my life as though it was a bowl of soup.

The ingredients are my bed, where I am now; the rollator walker, where I came from; and the ramp and art materials that I use every day. The soup is being shared with others, and they’re enjoying the multifaceted and complex ways we all make our soups! The hands give the soup to hungry folks, who partake just enough to satisfy themselves. There’s joy, happiness, and meaning within the bowl and surrounding it. And the sun gives life to the hands that give to others, but keep just enough food for me.

Sudden Realization

It’s supposed to show a femme, a woman. You see one of her feet, and there are teeth in her gown. It’s meant to represent that being in bed has its difficulties — physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. And yet, she’s relaxing, leaning in, finding comfort from her bed. The hand in the top left corner symbolizes the hands caring for her. Sometimes her body can be a bit of a cage, but the bed is relaxing and comforting. At the bottom, there are water droplets — I love water. I get comfort every day from being watched and cared for. The doorway at the top right represents shards of glass that could cut anyone passing through. Below that are stairs — which I can’t climb. It shows something I cannot do, no matter how hard I try. And underneath there’s a sword, with a broken edge, showing fatigue — not being as sharp as I’d like to be. But above it all, there’s a crescent moon — a time of rest and rejuvenation. I really like this one.

I’ve been spending more time observing the societal norms that we all adhere to and I’ve adopted this belief: that we all need boundaries and freedoms in order to thrive.

The metaphor I’ve chosen for myself is:

I see myself as a plant, silently attempting to grow amidst the concrete and the people rushing by and stepping their heavy feet on my life.

My stalk has a fissure in it and I’m bending to the wind. The leaves on my stem are dried and curling, and I need water desperately and nurturing nutrients in order to survive and grow.

Folks are weaving around me and I’m barely hanging on. I’m unsteady and need a post or something to lean on to assist me in becoming more balanced. I’m hungry, need rest and a comfortable place to land.

But wait…

A kind, compassionate, caring person stops what they’re doing…and comes over to me.

She brings others who tenderly assist me by helping me stand up…they unfurl my curled up leaves…they shield me and stop all human lives from trampling on me…and all of this as I instruct them.

They support my back with gentleness and love. They ask me what I need AND what I desire in order to survive.

I want to stand on my own, and in my own way, with a cane, walker, and wheelchair, so they offer them to me. They tend to my wounds and nurture me with grace, care, and dignity.

I thank them as they offer me sustenance and let me inform them of what I need. They reciprocate as I remember my life’s tapestry, and they become my co-collaborators, and never intimidate or force me to prove my worth–because I’m aware of the fact that I am already whole.

This is a dream of mine; and although my life is challenging, I believe that it’s possible and can be done.

It all depends on your perception and if you believe that you can change your way of thinking.

Most people aren’t aware that they can change their thoughts.

But a person can bring an awareness of their negative and critical patterns and replace them with a better, more pleasing thoughts.

It takes practice, commitment, and dedication to improving oneself.

Replacing your thoughts isn’t easy, and you must keep at it, because real change takes time, effort and tenacity.

I also believe that finding one’s own purpose can be life changing and motivating.

And this feeling of love is the very basis of all that I think and do.

And I recently took the strengths survey and found that my highest potential was through honesty, kindness and love.

I’m not perfect, but I try to treat others with respect and dignity, and I realize that not everyone agrees with me or likes and values what I say.

I’ve also experienced a lot of isolation and the need for connection. I understand the importance of maintaining harmony within one’s own life.

And even though I’ve experienced difficulties, I took my own behaviors and transformed them into beliefs about what disability can teach others in our society and how it can relate in our own communities.

In bridging that gap between ableism and the misunderstanding that disability includes “fixing” a person that is already fully whole, I have often felt disconnected and alone.

Within my own personal desires for equity, inclusion, diversity, solidarity and liberation, I have often felt as though I’m only one person trying to change a very large mechanism.

When I tried to create a welcoming community based on these aspirations, it was a daunting task for me. I felt like I was “running on a hamster wheel”, as they say, and not getting anywhere.

So now I’m trying to exist within a contained state where what I envision is possible.

My artwork is the bridge between that gap.

My images show who I am and what I want to accomplish within both planes.

The piece entitled, “Security” is linked to my need for transformation and balance in life. There’s the right side of me that shows a wheelchair. I hope to get one someday. It’s isolated within the structure of what is viewed as in societal norms: a disabled bedbound woman. Someone who lives in poverty and is very isolated.

Then there’s the left side, where I’m in my bed, honouring my own personal desires, which is where I have the most freedom. It’s where I can be myself and no one will judge me. It’s where I feel safe, supported, and contained.

Both planes are linked by my oxygen tube, which meanders throughout the space and ends up branching out into both planes to co-inhabit. There is comfort and acceptance there, and I adapt to both worlds easily.

The second image is of me and my scars. There’s a swirling line between my hands that is reminiscent of drawing. I’ve always loved art making and that was my only choice for my career. The bed is welcoming and provides sustenance to me when I need it. There’s a rollator walker next to the bed that looks new and unused. In the lower left is a large hose or pipe that has a large drop of water, or it could be the flame of a candle, lighting me up with determination and purpose. There’s a calendar to mark the passage of time with respect to years being in bed. An artist’s portfolio is behind me showing how many decades I’ve been an artist living in poverty. I’m standing next to a pool that appears to be rippled and inviting me. The candle also signifies melancholy because I’ve had depression all my life. The stairs are coming from my bed and leading to a ramp with my hand print to signify my feelings of having to constantly prove my worth. The hand print signifies a grant I applied for recently and was told that my art was not sophisticated enough for the jury to award me, and the feeling that I wasn’t good enough to be valued as an artist and as a human being.

What I see as my role or my ultimate purpose in life is helping others to bridge the gaps in their own journeys and in cultivating harmony within one’s own trip through life.

I also took this perspective into my metaphor of the plant and visually transformed it.

I see structure and boundary as existing within the same context as disability and bringing that forward in order to make a difference in people’s lives.

Many of us rely on governments in order to live. I believe that we can ultimately make governments respond to our own needs for autonomy and justice, but we must change our own behaviour from one of lack and mistrust, to one of hope, co-collaboration, and abundance for all.

We can build trust and credibility in each one of us by recognizing the similarities between those that have an overarching power over our lives and our diverse disabled communities. We can choose to build connections, open discussions, and make healthy, informed choices for ourselves.

We can all come to the table and give of ourselves in order to make this world a better place for everyone involved.

I see this as our future.

All we need is the desire for hope and interconnectedness.

We can all thrive by living the life that we want and in believing that we are all worthy of joy and promise in our lives.

By bringing our own transformative perspectives and empowering/enhancing the lives of others, we show value for every living creature on this planet.

We can enhance our lives and the well-being of people of all abilities with purposefully driven goals for living a healthy life and a more prosperous, abundant, fulfilling, and better future.

This piece is a self portrait that shows my hope for humanity’s future and for my own future. It shows that my heart is strong and prefers honesty and integrity over hatred and delusion.

It encompasses a feeling of expectation of life’s goodness and abundance while being true to one’s own strengths and benefitting from the feeling of belonging to the greater consciousness.

I’ve been giving my Near Death Experience (and how it affected me), some thought around leadership. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

When I last spoke to Sarah we discussed my need to be seen, heard and valued, and I told her that when I was a child, I’d turn my grandparents radio on full blast in the wee hours of the night when I was 2 years old.

She advised me to maybe create an image of that and how I felt that leadership made me feel all those qualities. So I show myself as an adult with those desires.

That’s me in my night gown with a cane, walking through a doorway to my now life, or the adult me. The loudspeaker is blaring my needs to be a child again. And I’m walking through a doorway to hope.

My model here is made in pen. Against a green background, an orange/pink figure lies upon a blue bed, covered with an orange quilt.
Beside the figure there is another slumped figure attached to the figure, representing a facet of the figure. It’s me. Straight thought lines of red emanate from their head. A larger hand from the upper left of the picture points at the figure. It is a gentle hand in stark contrast to the menacing screaming rust reddish coloured angry faces, one with an indignant pointing hand located on the right side of the picture facing the figure in the bed. These faces represent hostile forces, of governmental policies and regulations, societies stringent laws, the medical model and people who have limiting judgemental views.