I’ve been spending more time observing the societal norms that we all adhere to and I’ve adopted this belief: that we all need boundaries and freedoms in order to thrive.
The metaphor I’ve chosen for myself is:
I see myself as a plant, silently attempting to grow amidst the concrete and the people rushing by and stepping their heavy feet on my life.
My stalk has a fissure in it and I’m bending to the wind. The leaves on my stem are dried and curling, and I need water desperately and nurturing nutrients in order to survive and grow.
Folks are weaving around me and I’m barely hanging on. I’m unsteady and need a post or something to lean on to assist me in becoming more balanced. I’m hungry, need rest and a comfortable place to land.
But wait…
A kind, compassionate, caring person stops what they’re doing…and comes over to me.
She brings others who tenderly assist me by helping me stand up…they unfurl my curled up leaves…they shield me and stop all human lives from trampling on me…and all of this as I instruct them.
They support my back with gentleness and love. They ask me what I need AND what I desire in order to survive.
I want to stand on my own, and in my own way, with a cane, walker, and wheelchair, so they offer them to me. They tend to my wounds and nurture me with grace, care, and dignity.
I thank them as they offer me sustenance and let me inform them of what I need. They reciprocate as I remember my life’s tapestry, and they become my co-collaborators, and never intimidate or force me to prove my worth–because I’m aware of the fact that I am already whole.
This is a dream of mine; and although my life is challenging, I believe that it’s possible and can be done.
It all depends on your perception and if you believe that you can change your way of thinking.
Most people aren’t aware that they can change their thoughts.
But a person can bring an awareness of their negative and critical patterns and replace them with a better, more pleasing thoughts.
It takes practice, commitment, and dedication to improving oneself.
Replacing your thoughts isn’t easy, and you must keep at it, because real change takes time, effort and tenacity.
I also believe that finding one’s own purpose can be life changing and motivating.
And this feeling of love is the very basis of all that I think and do.
And I recently took the strengths survey and found that my highest potential was through honesty, kindness and love.
I’m not perfect, but I try to treat others with respect and dignity, and I realize that not everyone agrees with me or likes and values what I say.
I’ve also experienced a lot of isolation and the need for connection. I understand the importance of maintaining harmony within one’s own life.
And even though I’ve experienced difficulties, I took my own behaviors and transformed them into beliefs about what disability can teach others in our society and how it can relate in our own communities.
In bridging that gap between ableism and the misunderstanding that disability includes “fixing” a person that is already fully whole, I have often felt disconnected and alone.
Within my own personal desires for equity, inclusion, diversity, solidarity and liberation, I have often felt as though I’m only one person trying to change a very large mechanism.
When I tried to create a welcoming community based on these aspirations, it was a daunting task for me. I felt like I was “running on a hamster wheel”, as they say, and not getting anywhere.
So now I’m trying to exist within a contained state where what I envision is possible.
My artwork is the bridge between that gap.
My images show who I am and what I want to accomplish within both planes.
The piece entitled, “Security” is linked to my need for transformation and balance in life. There’s the right side of me that shows a wheelchair. I hope to get one someday. It’s isolated within the structure of what is viewed as in societal norms: a disabled bedbound woman. Someone who lives in poverty and is very isolated.
Then there’s the left side, where I’m in my bed, honouring my own personal desires, which is where I have the most freedom. It’s where I can be myself and no one will judge me. It’s where I feel safe, supported, and contained.
Both planes are linked by my oxygen tube, which meanders throughout the space and ends up branching out into both planes to co-inhabit. There is comfort and acceptance there, and I adapt to both worlds easily.
The second image is of me and my scars. There’s a swirling line between my hands that is reminiscent of drawing. I’ve always loved art making and that was my only choice for my career. The bed is welcoming and provides sustenance to me when I need it. There’s a rollator walker next to the bed that looks new and unused. In the lower left is a large hose or pipe that has a large drop of water, or it could be the flame of a candle, lighting me up with determination and purpose. There’s a calendar to mark the passage of time with respect to years being in bed. An artist’s portfolio is behind me showing how many decades I’ve been an artist living in poverty. I’m standing next to a pool that appears to be rippled and inviting me. The candle also signifies melancholy because I’ve had depression all my life. The stairs are coming from my bed and leading to a ramp with my hand print to signify my feelings of having to constantly prove my worth. The hand print signifies a grant I applied for recently and was told that my art was not sophisticated enough for the jury to award me, and the feeling that I wasn’t good enough to be valued as an artist and as a human being.
What I see as my role or my ultimate purpose in life is helping others to bridge the gaps in their own journeys and in cultivating harmony within one’s own trip through life.
I also took this perspective into my metaphor of the plant and visually transformed it.
I see structure and boundary as existing within the same context as disability and bringing that forward in order to make a difference in people’s lives.
Many of us rely on governments in order to live. I believe that we can ultimately make governments respond to our own needs for autonomy and justice, but we must change our own behaviour from one of lack and mistrust, to one of hope, co-collaboration, and abundance for all.
We can build trust and credibility in each one of us by recognizing the similarities between those that have an overarching power over our lives and our diverse disabled communities. We can choose to build connections, open discussions, and make healthy, informed choices for ourselves.
We can all come to the table and give of ourselves in order to make this world a better place for everyone involved.
I see this as our future.
All we need is the desire for hope and interconnectedness.
We can all thrive by living the life that we want and in believing that we are all worthy of joy and promise in our lives.
By bringing our own transformative perspectives and empowering/enhancing the lives of others, we show value for every living creature on this planet.
We can enhance our lives and the well-being of people of all abilities with purposefully driven goals for living a healthy life and a more prosperous, abundant, fulfilling, and better future.
