VANISHING POINT
Conversation between Sarah and Michele:
Michele: It’s called “Vanishing Point.” The blue and orange background symbolizes strife and rest. The two beings — one on the left, which you can barely see in orange outline, and the one on the right, which you can see clearly — represent two sides of myself. One side shows what the world sees, and the other side represents the private person, the quieter moments.
Sarah: And what are they doing in the image?
Michele: They’re grabbing and pulling apart a woman’s vagina, and from that, something is emerging. It’s about showing the ties between them both — as a woman, as a femme. The collage elements are there to signify difficulty and the complexities of life.
Sarah: And in terms of the collage, what choices have you made with colors and textures?
Michele: I’ve used some complementary colors — orange and green, warm and cool. There’s blue and orange on the right side, and on the left, orange, blue, yellow, and a bit of purple. The figure on the left is in orange pastel so it blends into the background, while the one on the right is done in dark purple pastel to bring it forward.
Leadership Reflections
Leadership Model
My model here is made in watercolour marker. Against a green background, an orange/pink figure lies upon a blue bed, covered with an orange quilt. Beside the figure there is another slumped figure attached to the figure, representing a facet of the figure. It’s me. Straight thought lines of red emanate from their head.
A larger hand from the upper left of the picture points at the figure. It is a gentle hand in stark contrast to the menacing screaming rust reddish coloured angry faces, one with an indignant pointing hand located on the right side of the picture facing the figure in the bed.
These faces represent hostile forces, of governmental policies and regulations, societies stringent laws, the medical model and people who have limiting judgemental views.
Leadership Drivers
‘When I last spoke to Sarah we discussed my need to be seen, heard and valued, and I told her that when I was a child, I’d turn my grandparents radio on full blast in the wee hours of the night when I was 2 years old.
She advised me to maybe create an image of that and how thinking about that time might make me feel those motivations for my life now with recognition as an acknowledged motivation for me, in my leadership so showing myself as adult with those desires too.
That’s me in my night gown with a cane, walking through a doorway to my now life, or the adult me. The loudspeaker is blaring my needs to be a child again.
And I’m walking through a doorway to hope’
Line Drawings
Click the left and right arrows to see more images:
Conversation between Sarah and Michele:
Conversation transcript
[Sarah Pickthall] 16:33:05
Tell me why you decided, as part of Sync Reignite,
[Sarah Pickthall] 16:33:11
to explore…
[Sarah Pickthall] 16:33:13
what you describe as the bed femmes.
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:19
I wanted to do them…
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:22
Because I had this idea when…
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:26
sync with starting about leadership.
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:31
And the feedback I got from you and from the other artists
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:36
about the work that I was doing.
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:40
And I thought that maybe…
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:43
I’d like to focus on…
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:47
how I…
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:50
or how disabled folk
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:53
could navigate
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:56
the world from a band.
[Michele Dickson] 16:33:59
And I thought of my own experiences.
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:03
with it. Um…
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:06
that it can be very challenging.
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:09
But it can also be very rewarding.
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:13
And when, you know, we got deeper into the characteristics of leadership,
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:21
And my strengths…
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:24
Which are not always apparent.
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:27
But… I try to keep them in mind.
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:31
that, um, of being a quiet leader,
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:35
And kind of…
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:37
Um… I can’t remember.
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:40
kind of circumstantial, you know?
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:44
situational, rather.
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:46
Um, and yes…
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:49
that’s something I wanted to get into in my practice.
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:53
maybe of being a mentor to…
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:56
some younger artists, and…
[Michele Dickson] 16:34:59
you know, to starting a group.
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:03
for bed-bound and homebound artists.
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:07
Um, and I wanted to explore…
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:10
in a residency,
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:12
that theme of…
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:14
sort of what possibilities there could be.
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:18
for someone navigating the world from a bed, and I came up against my own
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:26
internalized ableism
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:28
Which, you know, I’m trying to…
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:32
kind of transform…
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:34
And there’s something more positive right now.
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:37
And it’s an ongoing…
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:40
you know, it’s an ongoing thing for me.
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:45
But I sort of…
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:47
started to acknowledge
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:50
Yes, I had it, and yes.
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:53
it got in the way of so many…
[Michele Dickson] 16:35:57
things that I was trying to do with my life and my practice.
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:02
And so, I explored that theme.
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:07
And came up with ideas about…
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:11
what a bed-bound fam.
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:14
could be like, and what…
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:17
sorts of themes that I could explore.
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:21
And it’s been very empowering for me.
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:26
And it’s opened my eyes to a lot of great things.
[Sarah Pickthall] 16:36:32
So, this image, this first image, can you…
[Sarah Pickthall] 16:36:35
Tell us a bit about it.
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:38
Well, it’s a woman in bed, or a female identifying person in bed.
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:46
Um, sometimes our body is a bit of a cage, and…
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:51
That’s where the teeth come in, the…
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:55
The sharp aspect of it.
[Michele Dickson] 16:36:59
Um… with the door and the stairs being…
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:05
something that I cannot navigate at all, no matter what I do.
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:11
And a rather sharp and painful aspects of
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:16
Being in a bed, and yet there’s the helping hand up in the left-hand corner.
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:22
Um… and…
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:26
She’s trying to…
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:28
Relax…
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:31
Uh, and sort of get…
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:34
comfortable with life in a bed.
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:38
the water is there because…
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:41
Well, I’m a water sign, I’m a Pisces, and I’ve always loved being washed.
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:48
dad is one of the high points of my day.
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:51
kind of taking joy in simple…
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:54
simple moments.
[Michele Dickson] 16:37:57
Um…
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:01
Yeah. Just enjoying every part of life, even the more difficult aspects of it, because it means I’m alive.
[Sarah Pickthall] 16:38:10
Mm-hmm. And this image, this image, Michelle…
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:18
Baddish is me.
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:20
kind of exploring my sexuality a bit.
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:24
Um…
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:26
I made it, like, a cityscape in the back.
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:31
And the Christmas lights.
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:33
I’ve always loved Christmas.
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:37
Um, but this person is free.
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:40
And is free to explore their sexuality.
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:48
free to enjoy…
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:51
their life and their existence.
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:55
free to sort of dress the way that they want.
[Michele Dickson] 16:38:58
be the way that they want.
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:01
And it’s an image of freedom to me.
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:09
There’s one…
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:11
Again, is another cityscape in the window.
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:16
And this person is…
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:21
relaxing…
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:23
And enjoys the…
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:27
the sensuousness.
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:29
of being alive.
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:32
And there’s a podium…
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:35
And, uh, the upper…
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:39
right-hand side of the drawing.
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:42
Where, even though she has a cane,
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:47
And she’s…
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:49
ready to, sort of,
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:52
speak her truth.
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:55
Um…
[Michele Dickson] 16:39:56
she’s in a relaxed state.
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:01
And she finds joy in it.
[Sarah Pickthall] 16:40:05
What did the podium mean for you? Was that something that came up when we were exploring styles?
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:13
Yeah, kind of a leadership…
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:16
I mean, a lot of people kind of equate leadership with…
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:20
screaming from a platform, and I don’t think you have to.
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:26
you know, you don’t have to be someone that’s aggressive.
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:30
And demanding and controlling.
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:34
You can be sort of a quiet leader.
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:37
And you can say, okay…
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:40
This is what it’s like for me.
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:44
Um…
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:46
Maybe when we…
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:49
discuss a little bit?
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:51
And we focus on your strengths.
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:54
Rather than mine?
[Michele Dickson] 16:40:57
Maybe we can come up with something.
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:03
This one, Miss Pleasure.
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:07
Uh, I read a book not long ago,
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:10
by the now-laid Alice Wong, unfortunately.
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:15
And there was an artist in there in the book,
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:21
talking about being a pleasure artist.
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:24
And I thought, how that would equate
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:29
with someone in a bed.
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:33
Um…
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:35
this one, I am a fat woman. I identify with that.
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:41
And I wanted to make this woman very voluptuous.
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:47
And… and really loving…
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:51
the body that she is in.
[Michele Dickson] 16:41:56
And exploring that theme.
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:00
This one, entitled Play,
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:05
Um…
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:07
is someone, again, exploring sensuality,
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:12
and play, maybe a little bit of sexuality.
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:17
And, you know, getting in touch with that inner child.
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:23
Um…
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:25
Yeah, sort of exploring that.
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:30
I like the balloon and the boot.
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:34
And the…
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:36
pretty, I respect of…
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:39
or dress.
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:43
This one…
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:46
is, again, kind of loving the skin that you’re in.
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:52
And she lets a very intimate part of herself show.
[Michele Dickson] 16:42:58
with the boot.
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:00
And, uh…
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:04
I don’t know, I like the…
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:07
the quiet…
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:09
sort of aspect of this.
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:11
just sort of taking a moment.
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:13
to be, and not necessarily do…
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:18
Like, you know, this sort of capitalist…
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:22
mindset as…
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:26
in, uh, you know, driving people until they’re dead.
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:32
I like this, it’s very quiet, and…
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:34
very still, and for me, that’s when I have my…
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:40
most memorable moments.
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:44
This one has to do with Rust.
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:47
And I put a forest out
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:51
side the window behind the bed.
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:54
Unfortunately, where I live,
[Michele Dickson] 16:43:56
All I see out my window is a brick wall.
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:01
And I wanted to…
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:04
instead of put a cityscape, which I’m a city girl.
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:08
I wanted this to be very comforting and very nurturing.
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:14
And, uh, even a little bit of sweet along the way.
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:23
This one…
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:25
I have loved drag for many, many years.
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:30
And I’ve often thought of myself doing some.
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:34
From my bed. I don’t know how that would work out.
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:39
But yeah, I thought of myself doing a little bit of drag.
[Sarah Pickthall] 16:44:47
So, what’s in that picture, Michelle?
[Sarah Pickthall] 16:44:50
What can we see there? You… you as a drag artist, yeah? Is this you?
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:53
Oh, it’s a woman.
[Michele Dickson] 16:44:56
It’s just me, doing my drag!
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:01
A friend of mine, we were discussing it not long ago, last week,
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:07
And… and, uh…
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:10
They said to me, well, I have a wig, and I have a boa, I could lend it to you.
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:15
And I said, sure, why not explore that a little bit?
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:20
Have some fun with life!
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:22
So much of the time, we’re…
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:25
striving for this is striving for that.
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:28
And we don’t take time.
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:30
to kind of incorporate a little bit of humor.
[Michele Dickson] 16:45:34
and enjoyment in life.
